Monday, April 22, 2019

accepting who i'm not (inspired by but first, coffee)


I am not a blogger with a perfectly curated Instagram feed. I am not someone who takes incredible photos or attends fancy beauty events. I am not the kind of makeup addict who creates looks so inspiring - everyone is desperate to re-create them. I am not a full-time blogger. I am not a beauty expert. (Even if I want to be.) There are so many things that I am not. Things that for a long time, made me feel small. Things that made me feel lacking or less than. It wasn't until I read a recent post from But First, Coffee called, "Accepting Who I'm NOT," that I started to feel okay about these things.

In the post, she talked about the comparison trap. This is something many of us are familiar with. One moment, you are having a great day at home with a good book. You are comfortable, content, and feeling positive about life. Then you casually open Instagram. Bam! You see a picture of some school chums laughing and smiling at a local event. Immediately your attitude shifts. Why wasn't I invited? They look so good. I wish I could pull off an outfit like that. How does she get her makeup to look so perfect? No one ever wants to do anything with me. The comparison trap is real and it is dangerous. It causes us to feel dissatisfied...even if we were feeling fabulous only moments ago.

So, what can be done about it? How can we move past the need to compare? Since we know that comparison is the thief of joy (so said Theodore Roosevelt) it is time to stop comparing our bodies, our talents, our lives, our successes, and our failures to the people we know. To the people we see online. To the people we make assumptions about. The reality is that we will never know someone else's full story. We don't know what they are struggling with or what they think about before they shut their eyes at night. Even if we did....their moments of bliss do not take away from what we have going on in our own lives.

Today I am taking back my power. By accepting what I am not....I reclaim who I am. I am consciously taking this opportunity to shine a light on all the wonderful things I have to offer. The following is a short list of things that I am:

I am Creative. When it comes to hobbies, there are many that fill my thoughts, my life, and my days. Even when I was a little kid, I was always doing something creative. (Not necessarily well but I did it nonetheless!) These days, I write articles for several different websites, I create content for my blog, I film videos for my YouTube channel, I am working on a book series, I enjoy painting and latch hook, and well, I simply enjoy doing things and being creative. In whatever way that manifests.

I am Supportive. Certain people from my past made me doubt this next statement for a hot second. Not anymore! Something else I am is supportive. I do my best to put myself in other people's shoes. To listen. To allow them to be heard and understood. To make them feel valued. I am the head cheerleader to many people in my life today - and that feels good. I like knowing that I can be a support to those who reach out to me.

I am Eager to Learn. It is exciting to discover new talents and new interests. Or to dive deeper into existing areas of interest. I absolutely love to learn about topics that excite me. Whether that has to do with makeup application, the fashion industry, essential oils, poetry analysis...learning new things can be thrilling. There are so many topics I am eager to learn more about. It expands my knowledge, of course, but it also expands who I am as a human being.

I am Passionate. In case you didn't know it, I am a Scorpio, and wow are we a passionate sign. When talking about some of the things I am, the word passionate simply must be included. I feel things deeply. I get excited about topics that matter to me. I care about others. I am passionate about so many aspects of life, and I love that about myself. I would rather be passionate and misspeak every once and a while than be detached. Sometimes, even the traits other people see as "bad" or "undesirable" can be downright wonderful. In the words of Lisa Rinna....own it!

These are some of the things that I am. Please leave a comment down below (or create your own post) and share some of the things you are. By owning all aspects of ourselves....we can put an end to the comparison trap once and for all.


32 comments:

  1. Ne guzel ve anlamlı bir yazı olmuş 😊 kaleminize sağlık 😊

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    1. Thank you so much! I really really appreciate your kind words <3

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  2. This is so true! I agree with you!

    Shoot for the stars | ☆ ☆ ☆ | Facebook page | ☆ ☆ ☆ | Instagram

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  3. So great post- the most important thing is to do it something with passion and heart. Sometimes I think that most bloggers forget about it in this days

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    1. Totally agree with you there. It's so easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing that we lose sight of what we want to be doing! Thank you so much for your comment.

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  4. Love this post as you're one of the few bloggers that give others hope in blogging as instagram has taken over mostly!! xx
    Regards.
    Codesarrival.com
    Dealswithin.com
    Promosinn.com

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    1. Oh, wow, thank you! Your comment really means a lot to me. <3

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  5. Totally agree... great post, babe!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

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  6. great post
    http://www.ludatischenko.com @luda.tischenko - instagram

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  7. Beautiful article, we should all accept what we are and what we are not!

    https://julesonthemoon.com/

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    1. Absolutely! That is something I think we can all strive towards!

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  8. Beautiful post, I agree that we should stop comparing ourself with others, in social media we only see the cute things, not the whole story. My list of things I am would be: Kind, compassive and caring (as the Cancer sun sign I am :P), I'm someone that is always there to listen instead of judging ^^
    xx

    Freak Muffin Blog

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    1. You are so right about that. We never see the full story. And THANK YOU for sharing your own list! That makes me super happy. I love hearing about all of the beautiful things you are :) :)

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  9. This is such a great read Shannon. And I agree with you, we must stop comparing our ourselves with other people who seems to have their shit together. I myself was once a victim of that, and it's one of the many reasons I quit Instagram for 3 years. Now that I have come to terms of accepting who I am not, I began to feel okay again. Thank you for reminding me <3
    Have a lovely day, Shannon!

    sarahrizaga.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much! It makes total sense that you would step away from Instagram for a while if it wasn't benefiting you. So glad this post could work as a reminder! <3

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  10. What an inspiring post. I have always felt the FOMO and comparison when it comes to Instagram. I've essentially decided to focus on other social media outlets over this because it was such a toxic environment for me and not great for my mental health either. I love this idea of reclaiming who you are. As bloggers it can be hard not to feel like you're supposed to fit into a certain mould or follow certain rules when it comes to creating. When in reality it is total BS and unrealistic. And it's ok to not fit into all that, to not be perfect. We just need more people voicing this and reminding us this is so.

    Sxx
    daringcoco.com

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    1. It really can be a toxic environment, you are so right. It's absolutely okay to not be like everyone else and to embrace the uniqueness of who we are. Sometimes, we just need that reminder!

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  11. Hear hear, Shannon! What a great inspiring post as the others have said. It's so easy nowadays, esp. with social media, to feel like what we are is not enough. That we all have to live like those pics we see on Pinterest or IG or FB. We all should just celebrate who we are, and not try to live under other's expectations.
    You rock, girl!

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    1. Exactly! It's so easy to become consumed by a sense of lack. Even though our lives are often full and vibrant in so many ways! Thank you so much <3

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  12. Hi! Nice post. Thanks for sharing.
    Have a nice day!

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  13. Mi ritrovo tantissimo in questo tuo discorso. Bellissimo post!

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  14. I love this soo much. With so many bloggers out there, there's so much pressure to conform to a certain standard. But we all bring something unique! Keep killin it :)
    xo Annie
    New England Romance

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    1. There really is a lot of pressure. But you are so right...each of us has something special and unique to offer!

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