moments of clarity.

We all have moments of clarity. This was mine.

Staring at a half-completed to do list....my thoughts were scattered. My mind unfocused. I was desperately unhappy. The problem? There was so much to get done. And there was always so much to get done. The worst part? The pay off just wasn't happening. My career just wasn't happening.

I never skipped school. I worked hard to get good grades. I went to University and earned my Honours BA. I took part in an internship. I wrote freelance articles. Five years later? I have written for over thirty online publications. I have applied for hundreds of writing jobs. I have tweaked my resume. I have worked off my butt off to make my dream a reality. It still isn't.

Should I give up completely? Should I let go of that illusive dream job and start a new career? One that pays the bills. One that will make everyone else happy. It is a tempting thought. One I have considered over and over again. But then I had this moment of clarity. A moment of honesty. I don't want to give up. Despite it all (the poor payment, the late nights, and the aggravation)....I don't regret fighting for my dream. It was always worth the risk. Today, there is something inside of me saying, keep going. Push forward.

I believe I was meant to be a writer. In some way at least. Maybe writing won't be my career. Maybe it will. Whatever happens? It will always be my passion. My dream. My heart. And that realization? That was my moment of clarity. That is the moment I will hold onto when things seem impossible or out of reach.

My apologies that this post is a little abnormal for my blog. This was simply a moment I needed to capture.

xo Shannon