Wednesday, June 5, 2024

the only way to find your voice is to use it.

One of my loved ones recently had some harsh words for me in response to an open discussion about who I am, what I believe, and what matters most. (Spoiler alert: this includes standing against abusers, elevating the voices of survivors, and not giving money to companies, brands, or artists who support violence and misogyny.) It was a deeply upsetting conversation for a lot reasons. I told them how important it is that I use my voice and try to make a positive difference...and I was told that my efforts do not make a difference and do not matter. That I will not create change. That I am being ridiculous. Of course, I have been thinking about this conversation a lot in recent days as I try to figure out how to move forward with someone who completely disregards the most important parts of me. In truth, it is not something I quite know how to do.

Here's the thing. I have been shy, socially anxious, and downright ashamed of who I am for as long as I can remember. As a child, I was always hard on myself (probably because everyone else was) and had a hard time feeling that I belonged anywhere. I often felt like I was on the outside looking in. That is the reason I turned to the written word. Reading books and being swept away from the safety of my bedroom...writing stories and feeling less overwhelmed by my emotions...words were my hiding place and my shelter. Though I still struggle to use my physical voice in certain social situations, the written word has long been my companion. Writing is the way I speak out. It is the way I express, share, and work towards a better world. To have someone I love tell me that my voice does not matter hurt more than I can describe. It was a betrayal of the deepest sense. 


"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean, 
but the ocean would be less because of that missing drop."

This wasn't what I planned to write about today. There was a fun makeup post scheduled, but this issue has been weighing on me. I suddenly realized that I needed to do something to reclaim my voice. I needed to remind myself that just because my growth challenges the stagnation of another person does not mean that my words lack meaning or impact. Though I may not change the world....my voice matters. All of our voices matter. I am trying not to lose sight of that in this midst of this pain. 

Sometimes, the people we love hurt us. And sometimes, the people we love are wrong. Unfortunately, my loved one said some things that will stay with me for the remainder of my life. For now, I am trying to focus on healing. I am trying to rebuild. And as I am doing that, I am doing my best to remember that my voice is meaningful, even though it is not always respected. 

14 comments:

  1. ((((HUGS)))) I totally understand how you feel. I always say that it's always the people we love and trust the most that can really hurt us, and the only way to really deal with it (after much distress on my part, anyhoo) is to move on and not to give them any power over how we feel. Hang in there, girl.

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    1. You are so right about that. The people who are closest to us have the power to do the most damage, unfortunately. Thank you for your kind comment <3

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  2. I totally get why this issue keeps weighing on you, Shannon, particularly as it involves a loved one ...
    I found myself nodding in agreement and recognition when I was reading the second paragraph of your post. That could have been written by me! Being on the outside looking in is a very apt description of how I've been feeling most of my life.
    Please keep in mind that you are not alone and that your voice definitely isn't meaningless! xxx

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    1. I'm sorry that you feel that way, too. I wish it wasn't the case! Thank you for your kindness and support. It means a lot <3

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  3. What you write is very touching.
    Big Hugs <3

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  4. Manchmal tut es gut, auch über solche Sachen einfach mal zu schreiben, es befreit einfach. LG Romy

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  5. Sending you a big hug! It feels terrible to find out that someone dear and close to you could think like that, I've been there myself. But, as you say, staying true to yourself and what you feel is right is what truly matters. And you're completely right - the only way to find your voice is to use it. <3


    http://www.couture-case.com/

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    1. I'm sorry that you have been there also. It's a difficult spot to be! Thank you for your kindness <3

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  6. It was really much fun at the festival =) Today we booked the tickets for next year :D Yes it was really good that the weather was better than expected. Thanks <3

    Nice post, sometimes it's important to write whats in your head to get a clear mind. Big hugs <3

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  7. Words do hurt and people don't realise this. We all have a voice and it does matter. Sending you big hugs, you are important <3

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